Negotiation Reference

Core Principles (Never Split the Difference)

Technique	Description
Tactical Empathy	Understand the other side’s feelings and mindset; label emotions: "It seems like you’re frustrated by…"
Mirroring	Repeat the last 1-3 words of what someone said; creates rapport and encourages them to elaborate
Labeling	Name the emotion: "It sounds like…", "It seems like…", "It looks like…"; defuses negatives, reinforces positives
Calibrated Questions	Start with "How" or "What": "How am I supposed to do that?", "What does this look like to you?"; avoids "why" (accusatory)
Accusation Audit	List every negative thing the other side could say about you upfront; disarms before they weaponize
No-Oriented Questions	"Is now a bad time?" gets better response than "Is now a good time?"; "no" makes people feel safe and in control
Late-Night FM DJ Voice	Slow, calm, downward-inflecting tone signals authority and calm; never match escalation with escalation
The Black Swan	Unknown unknowns that change everything; dig for hidden motivations and constraints

Technique

Description

Tactical Empathy

Understand the other side’s feelings and mindset; label emotions: "It seems like you’re frustrated by…"

Mirroring

Repeat the last 1-3 words of what someone said; creates rapport and encourages them to elaborate

Labeling

Name the emotion: "It sounds like…", "It seems like…", "It looks like…"; defuses negatives, reinforces positives

Calibrated Questions

Start with "How" or "What": "How am I supposed to do that?", "What does this look like to you?"; avoids "why" (accusatory)

Accusation Audit

List every negative thing the other side could say about you upfront; disarms before they weaponize

No-Oriented Questions

"Is now a bad time?" gets better response than "Is now a good time?"; "no" makes people feel safe and in control

Late-Night FM DJ Voice

Slow, calm, downward-inflecting tone signals authority and calm; never match escalation with escalation

The Black Swan

Unknown unknowns that change everything; dig for hidden motivations and constraints

Negotiation Frameworks

Framework	Description
BATNA	Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement; know your walk-away option before entering any negotiation
ZOPA	Zone of Possible Agreement; overlap between both sides' acceptable ranges; no ZOPA = no deal possible
Anchoring	First number shapes the entire negotiation; anchor high (selling) or low (buying) with justification
Ackerman Model	Set target price. Offer 65%, then 85%, then 95%, then exact target (non-round number); each concession smaller
Principled Negotiation	Separate people from problems; focus on interests not positions; generate options for mutual gain (Getting to Yes)
Win-Win or No Deal	If mutually beneficial terms are not possible, walk away; preserves relationship for future opportunities

Framework

Description

BATNA

Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement; know your walk-away option before entering any negotiation

ZOPA

Zone of Possible Agreement; overlap between both sides' acceptable ranges; no ZOPA = no deal possible

Anchoring

First number shapes the entire negotiation; anchor high (selling) or low (buying) with justification

Ackerman Model

Set target price. Offer 65%, then 85%, then 95%, then exact target (non-round number); each concession smaller

Principled Negotiation

Separate people from problems; focus on interests not positions; generate options for mutual gain (Getting to Yes)

Win-Win or No Deal

If mutually beneficial terms are not possible, walk away; preserves relationship for future opportunities

Tactical Phrases

Phrase	When to Use
"That’s right."	Goal response — means the other side feels fully understood (not "you’re right" which is dismissive)
"How am I supposed to do that?"	When given an unreasonable demand — forces them to solve your problem
"It seems like there’s something else going on here."	When surface-level discussion hides real concerns
"I want to make sure I understand correctly…"	Paraphrase to verify understanding and show active listening
"What would it take to make this work?"	Opens solution space without committing to specific terms
"Let me think about that."	Buys time; never negotiate under pressure or emotion

Phrase

When to Use

"That’s right."

Goal response — means the other side feels fully understood (not "you’re right" which is dismissive)

"How am I supposed to do that?"

When given an unreasonable demand — forces them to solve your problem

"It seems like there’s something else going on here."

When surface-level discussion hides real concerns

"I want to make sure I understand correctly…"

Paraphrase to verify understanding and show active listening

"What would it take to make this work?"

Opens solution space without committing to specific terms

"Let me think about that."

Buys time; never negotiate under pressure or emotion